sleep deprivation and stories of my bullshit youth

Appropriately this would happen before Fashion Week starts but I’m just really kind of disillusioned right now with clothes and things. Sometimes I wish I had a very laid back lifestyle and just continued to live on the beach and not care so much about things and wear simple surf gear (minus the flowers seen below) and jeans but then I remember the designers I love dearly and how I’d much rather wear Demeulemeester than Billabong any day but my ability to mix the two sometimes makes me laugh.

(typical walking to get coffee at 9am look)

Sometimes I get sick to think of the price tags on things I see everyday. Do I like so and so’s tanks because they look really good and are really well made or because I just feel like I have to, you know? In the case of buying a $100+ tank, I’ll take the Quiksilver one instead. I knicked a few purple rubbery bracelets over the weekend and I am wearing than more than the MJ watch I had to have last year (which I really need to sell because I’m tired of looking at it). Another example, I was on the hunt yesterday to find a perfect Equestrian riding hat. I just all of the sudden want to wear one all the time and the idea (Abigail/Lorick’s) of wearing it as a bicycle helmet made me like it even more (thanks Elizabeth). Of course on our first vintage store stop I found one that fit me perfectly and was altogether amazing (despite the fabric coming up underneath the brim) but couldn’t justify spending $50 on it. (Whether it’s because I don’t know if I’ll really wear it everyday or if I’ll be over the idea in two weeks and have to stare it all the time.)

(the best I’ve found)

I think what happened was that progressively with more money and this impending need for stuff brought on this ‘have to have now attitude’ and my whole gear situation got all fucked up. Just because you can afford Chanel doesn’t really mean you need it, you know what I mean?
I was talking to dear sweet Sanna and the way she put it was best.
Ideally she’d like to have:
one pair of jeans (I’d pick my favorite Ksubi’s but I like my Vans jeans just as much)
two black shirts (I’d need three at least. sanna said one band tee, I’d choose vintage Motorhead of course and then probably my Junkie Whammy aNYthing and Max’s 4Q shirt)
one button down (I’m quite fond of my purple vintage find on which I threw my girl gang ‘Satan’s Scumfucks’ patch)
one pair of boots (my Westwoods of course)
a black leather moto jacket (must find the April 77 one)
a black hoodie (again, I need to sell my Morphine Gen hoodie and just keep my old black falling-completely-apart with Septic Death Pushead patch sewn on back hoodie)
a bag (my Alex Wang is beyond perfect but really I think the price was silly to pay on my behalf [despite it’s cost being raised over $200+ and now being sold again], especially because my Verte tote made me just as happy).
a nice pair of heels (to which I’d say I would rather have my trusty pair of Vans. Two are ideal because I love them so much).

(a mashup of the items with my everyday look, channeled through an old Vice shoot)

The kind of fucked thing is, this is just how my wardrobe used to look. When I was always moving house, on tour and sleeping on couches and floors and boys beds, when I never have my own closet and carried a backpack full with me all the time. I miss when I used to have more records than clothes and spent more money on vinyl than I did on jeans. When I’d rather go to Kim’s Music than Barney’s Co-Op. Where am I going with this? I don’t really know. I think a change is in order though. Not even necessarily a change but maybe a need to revert back to my old habits. I think the conclusion to all this lies in just how much I spend during Fashion Week and while I’ve already vowed to not buy much at all (I don’t NEED anything besides the new Purple Mag), I am sure I will be tempted more than once so we’ll see what happens.

*this is a repost because the previous posting of it made the comment part not work. must fix this asap.